She Knew

I came across this picture the other day. I was 29 years young and had just taken my first international trip abroad. I was in Koh Samui, Thailand, in this picture. Hair shaved, still had my edges intact. I had cut all my hair off four years prior after the death of my Dad in 2002. I believe the death of my Dad was my introduction to being a woman.

I was rocking my nameplate, the necklace my Dad gave me right before he passed. I still have it to this day and wear it when I want to take him with me.

Definitely a B cup from the blouse I wore. I got it right on the island. 😂 I remember the days when I could eat anything and everything without a thought about my figure. Those were the days.

Today, I find myself in the heart of Bangkok. I wanted to be here, but did I think it was possible at the time? Nah. But it opened me up to the possibility. Here I am, hair transplant having, triple D having titties, bones cracking, and still rocking my necklace from my Dad.

Damn...it's been a journey.

I have to admit, I got emotional when I found this picture.

This young woman was fearless. I remember I just wanted to explore this world. I wanted to be out in these international streets. Thailand was the gateway. It broke me in and introduced me to the world.

I was never afraid. I just felt excitement. The kind of excitement that I still crave to this day. The kind of excitement you get when you have your first experience because you know you will never be the same.

I became addicted to the experiences.

What will I see? Who will I meet? What foods will I taste? Who will I become afterward?

Nothing else mattered.

To me, this is what I wanted my life to be about. Having these experiences and watching myself evolve. I worked just to travel, and I loved it.

I was living a life many people didn't understand at the time. Being young, child-free, uncommitted, and adventurous.

This young woman is exactly who I wanted to be.

I'm so proud of her. I really am.

When you think about your life and all that it means to you, what comes to mind?

I wanted to live, explore, and experience for as long as I could. I didn't have anyone to show me how to live or anyone who lived this way. I just knew what I wanted, and I had fun doing it.

I reflect on life a lot because what is it all for if you don't?

So many young people out here looking for wisdom, direction, and integrity, and everyone is on their phones.

I reflect on life to unravel the darkness and move toward the light. That light shines brighter and brighter with each step.

Reflection is my way to wisdom, to move forward with confidence, trust, and perspective.

Openly reflecting is my Thundercat signal to connect with those in the struggle. The people who feel something similar but maybe didn't have the words to express it.

It's a load off.

I feel lighter, grounded, and present. I didn't realize the weight of expectations and masks until you decide to let them go.

It's the times for me.

These times require drastic measures. A deep dive inward without coming up for air.

It requires a trust that you will be good.

Everything you ever needed is inward, and when you do come out...

it's abundance.